Sometimes I struggle. I mean really struggle.
I get so caught up in everything that needs to be done for the house, the kids and the farm that I forget that I’m more than a mom.
Summer has come to an end. Fall was gone overnight. And sadly I can look back on my summer and see that I only did about a dozen fun things.
Three swimming trips to my sister-in-laws, 3 golfing trips two miles down the road and one playground trip four miles away.
Don’t get me wrong I didn’t have a bad summer. It was the exact opposite really.
We had some really great daily fun things we did for a few weeks. I helped the boys do a lemonade stand and sold some of our extra produce there. We also ventured down to the rock quarry to look for fossils several times.
Yes COVID impacted this but there was a much bigger obstacle that stood in my way.
Why I am My Biggest Obstacle
That’s right, I was my biggest obstacle when it came to having time for myself.
I never stood my ground and made time for me. I never enforced being given a free day every now and then. These are such important things to remember to do for ourselves and I just kept letting this need, for space and time to myself, drift to the side and out of reach.
As a mom, I have always struggled with wanting to give more to others rather than take care of myself. I think it’s our nature to be honest.
I used to watch the movie Mom’s Night Out once a year to remind myself of all that I was doing with my kids. This movie really shows me every time I watch it how we let ourselves get side tracked with doing everything for everyone else and that this is what truly causes us to fall apart.
We don’t make the time for ourselves the way we do for everyone else in our families.
Heck some of us, pointing a finger at myself here, don’t even make the time for ourselves when it comes to other people either.
The Importance of Making Time for Yourself
Just before the start of 2021 I started a new morning routine. Honestly, my husband started it first and I just started to tag along with the FOMO (fear of missing out) lol.
Really though, he was seeing such great results by starting the Miracle Morning that I felt like I needed to give it a try as well. Turns out our results are not exactly the same.
While he started to see and feel a difference right away I struggled along for almost three full weeks before I started to find a groove. Part of my struggle is a 2 year old with his own sleeping agenda goofing up my well made plans.
The bigger thing for me was that doing what it said in books to do wasn’t giving me the inspiration that I needed to start making a change for me.
Thankfully my husband heard Mel Robbins in this Youtube video. If you are struggling with making time for yourself this may be exactly what you need to hear as well.
My Morning Routine
My new morning routine is a mixture of the Miracle Morning and the Million Dollar Morning. While the Miracle Morning for me was helpful I felt like I was just checking things off of a list each morning.
The change for me came when I listened to Mel and took in the thought of asking myself that one question every morning.
“What one thing can I do today to make progress in my life?”
It felt silly to ask myself that question and then just give my mind space to wander but what a game changer. What was the first thing that I thought of?
Cleaning my desk.
Yes it may sound strange but it really did make a huge difference. Day one, after determining this was the one thing I needed to do, I cleaned my desk. Suddenly sitting down to work didn’t feel as overwhelming. The school items for the kids were more planned out and everything is finally organized.
Once I was finished cleaning it off and really digging into the drawers so that it was 100% fresh again it felt like I had done something not only to help me be more productive but almost like a self-care item. I was left feeling refreshed and excited to sit down and get to work again.
So here is what I do each morning:
- Wake up and NEVER hit snooze. I have also started setting my alarm an hour earlier than when I used to wake up so that I can get 30 minutes to myself before a child wakes up.
- I use the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 to motivate myself if needed (check out that Mel Robbins speech above)
- I do NOT look at my phone.
- Head downstairs grabbing my current personal development book and journal on the way.
- Being a bit wild, I preset my coffee pot the night before so that it makes me a delicious cup and it’s ready when I come down. I’ll drink a bit of water and then pour myself a wonderful cup of coffee.
- I settle in and do some silent time being present to my surrounding.
- Follow this with journaling – my focuses are on what I’m grateful for, excited about and what I’m committing to achieve for the day.
- Then comes meditation. This is my biggest challenge area but I’m working on it. I try to visualize a perfect day, my future big dreams and things like that.
- After this I enjoy multi-tasking a bit. I will do some yoga stretching while I read from my current personal development book. It’s amazing how much a person can read when you take 15 minutes a morning to do this while stretching.
- Then I will ask myself what I need to make progress on. I usually put on my make up while I let my mind wander.
- After determining that one key item I go immediately and work on it for 30 minutes.
That’s my morning routine. These simple things completed in 30-45 minutes each morning have made a huge difference on the impact of my day.
Self-Care Is a Priority
The other major thing that I am doing to make time for myself is to focus on self-care. This can vary for every person and can be as simple or complex as you choose to make it. I personally have found that during the winter months I need extra ideas to renew myself. You can check out the ways I do that here.
I strongly suggest making a simple self-care item on a daily basis. This will set you up to start taking better care of yourself and seeing yourself as a priority.
After you have mastered doing a bit of daily self-care, nothing too big by any means, you can start to add in a weekly, bi-weekly or monthly larger item. How often you do these larger items will be determined by your time, budget and your overall need for the added self-care time.
Big Item Self-Care
- coffee out of the house
- dinner or lunch out of the house
- bubble bath
- facial at a salon
- learn a new hobby (canning possibly)
- go to a fun event
- visit a craft show
- do a sit and sip paint outing
- go on a vacation or plan an elaborate stay-cation
Remember that You are Important
The biggest thing to remember through everything as you begin your journey to self-care and making time for yourself is that you are important.
You matter! Your mental and physical health are important, not only to you but to your family as well.
I encourage each of you to take one item from the daily list above and start to make time for yourself today. It doesn’t have to be a lot just five minutes.
You are so much more than ‘just a mom’ and you deserve to take time for yourself.
We take care of everything on the home front. We manage life on a daily basis for the household. You deserve to take time for you. I know you are super mom already. Now go do the unthinkable and love yourself as much as your kids love you.
What is one self-care item you are going to start adding to your life?